Writer's Voice Entry: SWEET LITTLE LIES



This is the Writer's Voice! Here is my query and first 250 words!



Dear Amazing Coaches,

Fifteen-year-old Adelaide Dorsten is an expert liar. But when her lies no longer seem believable and her friends begin to question her tales, she confesses her biggest secret to her best friend. The bruises she’s always tried to hide don’t come from falling down stairs or running in to doorknobs, they come from her brother.

Harper Maddock is a new student at Adelaide’s posh private school, desperate to keep the secret of her rape and attempted suicide from her new classmates. But when she falls in with a couple of popular girls, she finds herself in a spotlight she never desired. As Harper tries to keep up with her growing list of lies, she catches the attention of a popular boy – Adelaide’s older brother.

Gemma Drayton is Adelaide’s best friend, and she doesn’t want to know anyone’s secrets. In fact, she’s quite content believing what she knows are outright lies – even if that means covering up what she suspects about Adelaide’s family. But when the abuse takes a deadly turn before her eyes, her suspicions are confirmed.

With one confession, each girl’s web of lies will unravel, risking the people they love, their friendships, and even their lives.

Told from Adelaide, Harper, and Gemma’s points of view, SWEET LITTLE LIES is a YA dark contemporary novel, complete at 64,000 words. It will appeal to fans of 13 Reasons Why and Speak. I am an active and founding member of the Writer Diaries. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
Tabitha Martin


First 250

The bruises fade long enough for a new crop to pop up, raising more eyebrows and even more questions. I run my fingers along the cheek bone under my right eye, wincing as I graze the three knuckle-sized bruises. I fall back, leaning against the glass door of my shower, glaring at myself through the mirror. How in the world will I cover these up?

My excuses get weaker and weaker, to the point that I'm not sure anyone believes me. I'm not even sure I believe me. Stuttering halfway through sentences only makes the story even less believable than it might have been in the first place.

I fling open the top drawer of my bathroom cabinet and pull out a bottle of foundation. I'll cake it on until you can't see a single bruise, despite the fact my skin will look eight shades darker when I'm done.
            
"Let's go loser," my brother shouts from outside my room.
            
I throw the foundation on the counter, silently cursing as the glass bottle chips the edge of my sink, a small porcelain triangle falling down the drain.
           
Glancing back in the mirror, I try carefully not to let my eyes fall to my ribs, to the pancake-sized bruises right underneath my fading violet bra. It's a relief clothes are a school requirement. No one would believe I got these bruises from a not-so-graceful fall to the ground. They're clearly in the shape of a fist.

"Adelaide, let's go!" he shouts and hits my door hard.

19 comments:

  1. This caught my attention! I like it, thanks! And good luck!!

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  2. Oh this sounds so poignant. I already feel for Adelaide! Well done, and good luck! :D

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  3. I really enjoyed your query! Much improved, girl. It sings. I'd love to read further to see how the voices differ--I love the idea of 3 POVs :)

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  4. I know it's usual just to focus on one POV for the query, but I like how this all ties in together, and I think your opening is really strong (my heart goes out to Adelaide). Good luck!

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  5. I like where this is going!! I saw this on the pitmad hashtag and I'm still wondering why does her brother use her as a punching bag! GAh! Good Luck, Tabitha! :)

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  6. This is a great teaser! Good luck!

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  7. Yes. This. Also, this:

    q: What is a word that describes someone of many talents or gifts?
    a: [You know it...]

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  8. Really tough subject. Your MC has tons to overcome. Great mood and tension. Good luck in the contest.

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  9. Sounds like such a tangled web - really good tension. Good luck!

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  10. mystic stole my comment! ;-) It's sounds like an amazing tangle that will break the reader's heart and keep them reading to the end. Best of luck!!

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  11. Love your query, you query queen :) ...and of course the opening was always fab...along with the rest of the MS. Good luck girl!! :)

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  12. Ooooh, this seems heartbreaking, and I love a book that can make me cry. I want to rescue Adelaide from that 250 and feed her cookies! Nice job, and luck to you.

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  13. Wow. This begins right where it should and in 250 words I know the whole relationship without being told I am SHOWN everything and it is masterful writing. Great job. I want to read this book and read about these girls and learn more about them word by word.

    Great job again and good luck!

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  14. Sounds like a darker version of Pretty LIttle Liars. Writing about abuse is really hard, I think it's awesome you are tackling such a difficult subject. Great entry.

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  15. I'm glad to know from the query that the girls will each share their secrets by the end. The first 250 are tight and immediately get things going with tension and questions. Best of luck to you! :)

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  16. Lovely style and great voice! I can already see characterization shaping. I'm hooked! Good luck to you!

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  17. I love dark contemporary and this one sounds great. Best of luck to you!

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  18. Wow, this is really scary. Great query and 250. Good luck!

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  19. This really hooked me in, though I'm really wondering why her brother would do that, and where her parents are? But I love dark/serious contemporaries and I'd love to read more of this. Good luck!

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